A Time of Waiting

Since I was 13 years old I have read almost every Robin Jones Gunn book out there, with the exception of the Sisterchicks series of book. I had never gone beyond the back of the book because they are written about and geared towards older women, and at 13 and 14 I just wasn't interested. Because I have so much time on my hands at work, I have read almost every book I own, even re-read a few. I keep an eye out for books that I might possibly read that I can buy for some pocket change (typically used books, but who cares as long as they are still readable?). I picked up a Sisterchicks book at Goodwill for $0.40 a few months ago and it sat on my shelf...and sat...and sat on the floor (we have been rearranging our room and going through our things). Finally I picked it up a couple days ago while I was rushing out the door to head to work. I still wasn't that interested in it, but it was better then starring at the wall for 5 hours. The biggest reason I had hesitated to read it was because it was still about women who were older than me, in fact another 20 - 30 years older than me! I didn't get very far into the book when I realized the treasure I had come accross. Granted, it is a fictional story, but I prefer Christian fiction with good lessons in a realistic life situation than reading an entire book on Christian Living (I know, I am still trying the Christian Living books though). I finished the book this morning. I cannot believe the messages and lessons that I got out of that book! It was just what I needed right now at this time in my life. God works in amazing ways! The book reminded me of the wisdom and lessons that we can learn from the lives of women who have 20 or 30 years of experiences that I haven't lived yet.

Here are a few key points (and quotes) that I got from the book that I am praying about and asking God to incorperate them into my life.

-"I believe that 90% of our jobs as believers are to just show up." Showing up each and everyday at the feet of the Lord, saying "alright God, I am here, use me."

-"Shame off you" and "Grace on you". Instead of wallowing in shame and self-pity and regret, seeking forgiveness and letting go of the shame and the guilt and focusing on God's grace, letting yourself be covered by "A blanket of grace".

-Hospitality. Showing Christ's love by offering yourself. I will touch more on this later. I left the book in my car and I am still chewing on this one.

-"You are not done yet."

-"Go and feed His sheep." Through out this book these two women discovered the joy and grace of serving. They discovered a new way to serve and encourage other believers in the end of the book. They traveled to women in the missions field in other countries and delievered "grace" to them. They took them "out to laugh", uplifted their spirits by just being there and being a friend. They would go to other countries, visit women and families that they had never met before and spent time with them. They talked, laughed, cried, baked lots of cookies, read the bible, prayed, had fun teasing and hanging out. It doesn't sound like much to us, but to those women in the field, it was what they needed to be themselves again. It helped fill their "joy tanks" back up.

Swinging into a completely different topic. I realized why I have been so anxious lately. Not only was I focused on everything that was not going the way I planned or wanted as I said in my last post, but I am in a place where I cannot do anything but wait. I am in a time of waiting. I hate waiting. I am only patient when I have to be. Patience is not a strong virtue of mine. But I realized yesterday that God has been in a place that He is calling me to wait. I have been praying and asking God for answers, racking my brain for new ideas and solutions and instead of stopping and listening for God's answers, I have just continued to talk and try to move beyond this. But He has answered me, He spoke to my heart with one word: Wait. Here I am now, in a place where I am trying to show up and just wait on the Lord. Its a completely new place for me. I am praying through out the day for God to cover me in "a blanket of grace" and to lead me. Even though I feel like bursting into tears everyday (for different reasons usually, whether its frustration, thankfulness, peace, being frightened, or amazement), I feel myself growing closer and closer to Him. Through my growing in the Lord and falling deeper in love with Him, I feel myself grow closer to my husband and deeper in love with him. I am so thankful. After the rough first 6 months of our marriage, I am so thankful to be in a place where God is drawing us closer to each other through Him. And to think it took so long to get back here. I am working everyday at giving my everything to God. Its hard, I am struggling most days to let everything go and stop holding on. But it feels so much better in the end knowing that God is in charge.